Happy Codex Sinaiticus Day!

Not many people have ever heard of Codex Sinaiticus…even fewer are excited that 1/4 of it is now available online.  Let me say that I, for one, am excited.  Cheers.

Codex Sinaiticus Online!

Wikipedia

Explosions and Language Barriers

Today I rode my bike down to the lakefront to get some work done at my favorite coffee shop.  I was sitting outside, making notes and minding my own business.  Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I looked over and there was an older lady standing next to me who said, with a thick accent, “are you OK?”  I thought it a wierd question, so I replied, “yes I am, how are you?”  She pointed to my hand, which I quickly noticed was covered in red ink.  “I was sitting over there and thought you were bleeding,” she said.  Realizing that my red pen was the obvious culprit, I said, “oh, thanks for letting me know…my pen must have exploded.”  The lady gave me a horrified look and took a step back.  “Exploded?” she said.  “Yes, exploded.”

She went back to her chair as I got up to throw the worthless writing instrument away.  I realized as I was on my way back to my table how unusual that expression must sound to someone who is not a native English speaker.  “Exploded” is a fairly strange way to describe what happens when your pen leaks on you.  I’m not terribly surprised that she and her friends moved to a more distant table.

It Really Is A Smart Car!

About two months ago, my mom and dad wandered into a Smart Car dealership in an effort to become more environmentally friendly in their driving.  They left with what has appropriately been deemed “the ladybug.”  It is a tiny convertible that seats two, and is probably one of the strangest looking vehicles you will see this side of the Atlantic.  I returned to Dallas this past week for a visit, and the Smart Car became my chariot.  Here are some observations, for those who are interested.

1. People don’t quite know what to do with the Smart Car. My first excursion in this little beast was to Starbucks.  When I pulled onto the street, I immediately found myself surrounded by large sport utility vehicles who were trying to get a better look at this car that is only slightly larger than a Texas horse fly.  They swarmed around me like buzzards and, considering the size of the car, I was just a bit terrified that one was going to nudge me just to see how far I would fly.  I made my way to the first stop light and, upon stopping, I looked to my left and right and saw people pointing.  Some were pointing with their jaws open, others were laughing.  I felt a bit like the ugly duckling, but I continued and pulled into parking lot.

2.  The Smart Car turns you into a celebrity/charity case. I pulled in front of Starbucks and proceeded to lock the doors.  A man ran out of the store shouting, “WOW!  WOW!  WOW!  SMART CAR!”  I watched him for a second, not quite knowing what to say, and then he started asking me questions about it.  I told him my experience only included the past 5 minutes, but I answered to the best of my ability.  He then asked if he could buy me a cup of coffee.  This was a surprise, but of course I said yes.  We talked in line and I felt like an absolute celebrity.  I mean, I can’t really remember the last time someone ran out of a store to ask me questions and then offer to buy me something.  Then, as he handed me my coffee, he said, “Thanks for taking one for the team.”  I assume he meant, “Thanks for using less gas so the rest of us don’t have to.”  A typical Dallas attitude.

3.  You actually become more intelligent as you drive the Smart Car. Toward the end of my second day with the beast, I traveled to a Barnes and Noble to work on a paper that has been haunting me for some time.  It is one of those papers where you have a general idea of what you would like to write, but you have absolutely no idea where to start.  My topic makes my brain swell and, every time I sit down to write, I end up taking a long nap.  However, after driving the Smart Car for two days, my pen could barely keep up with the thoughts that were pouring out of my hand.  I wrote a five page outline in about thirty minutes, and I’m absolutely convinced that the Smart Car is to blame.  Call it osmosis or, for you skeptics, a placebo effect, but while driving that car I became smarter.  Of course, now that I have been away from it for a couple of days, I’m back to celebrating mediocrity.

4.  People are really bad at math. After two days of driving, I had to go fill up.  I went just over 100 miles and the car took in 2.7 gallons.  Not too shabby, if you ask me.  While I was filling up, a young lady with a thick accent and few teeth came over and asked how much it cost to fill up the car from empty.  I told her I had not yet filled the car from empty, but that I knew it held exactly eight gallons.  Her eyes glazed over and she said, “Oh, and how much would that cost?”  I looked at her and said, “Well, gas is about $4 per gallon right now…”  Her head cocked forward momentarily while she waited for me to finish the equation… “So I guess it would cost around $12 to fill up from empty.”  She squealed with delight, completely unaware that I had just given her the wrong answer to a fairly simple math problem.  I really should not have enjoyed the experience as much as I did, but I honestly could not help myself.

Another Post Concerning Air Travel

I’m beginning to notice a theme here…whenever I get on a plane, I feel like writing a post.  I suppose this is a good thing, mostly because I have steered away from consistent posting.  Ah well, c’est la vie.

Some thoughts about my most recent trip back to Dallas.

1.  When I was a kid, the employees at the x-ray machine were nice to children.  They used to invite me behind the screen to look at the insides of my bags.  I loved every second of it.  Now, children are probably trafficking bombs or guns.  They are perhaps even more suspect than we are.  The other day, in the Milwaukee airport, I actually saw a security guard tell a 4 year old to spread their legs and hold their arms out wide.  It made me want to throw up.

2.  When I was a kid, water was not believed to be hazardous to anyone, unless of course you were drowning in it.  Carrying a bottle of water in your bag or hand was never a problem, and in fact people actually thought highly of you for being so health-conscious.  The last time I went through security, I had a bottle of water stashed away in my carry-on bag.  No, it wasn’t on purpose…I always carry a bottle of water with me…I’m often thirsty.  Upon spotting it on x-ray, the henchman at the end of the conveyer belt opened my bag and removed the water.  He held it up in front of me and asked, “Were you going to tell me about this?”  I answered simply, “no,” but I felt like saying, “Of course I wasn’t going to tell you about that…I was just going to blow up the plane with it.”  Lets take a step back and ask ourselves if it is really necessary to restrict the liquids in our life.  I think we will probably discover that it is not.

3.  Midwest airlines is still the best.  My flights lately have been too early for freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, but that is ok.  When the drink cart came by, I asked for a coffee.  When the flight attendant gave me a cup, I said thank you.  He responded, “NO!  Thank you for being here!”  I’m not sure what that means, but it was nice to encounter an airline employee who doesn’t put off the “i’m serving your drink but I’m also plotting your death/my suicide.”

Thus ends the latest air travel musing.  Cheers.